The sites coming along slowly, I'm almost done with Creative Imaginations. I have a long way to go since it's so screwed up. I'm back to plugging away at it. I just have lots and lots of bad days where I don't get much done, if anything. I'm embarrassed to say it's been a year since the sites been up and running correctly so I am trying to stay motivated. It's just hard. I miss my Dad so much.. it still doesn't seem real and I just want him back. I have a lot of anger .. that seems to be a big problem for me these days.. I'm struggling with that too. I'm angry at life.. angry at god.. furious with my sister.. the anger I feel towards her is worse then I've ever felt before... I'm angry at the jerks whose shop my father was at when he fell.. angry at myself for not being able to function .. angry that I'm not able to get it together and do what would make my dad proud.. I've been crying a lot .. it just doesn't seem real and the littlest thing sets me off and the tears start pouring.. So that's what going on with me these days not much progress. I'm trying but most days are more of a struggle than others.
I'll leave you wish some photos of the pups and everyone hanging out by the pool..
I just get overwhelmed if I worry about back bloggin.. so I decided to take it day by day and go from here. I'll post about the past month or so a little at a time in my posts.
You have every right to feel the anger you do... you will for a very long time. I'm sooo sorry, Katie!
Posted by: Andrea Amu | June 29, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Hey sweets!! You will get there, trust me, time is the only thing that is going to help, and some people need more than others. Let me know what I can do to help!! Love ya!!
Posted by: Meg | June 30, 2008 at 07:14 AM
hi there!
found your blog via sis. those are wonderful photos! i wish we had a pool like that.
time is on your side when it comes to things like that. i'll keep you in my prayers.
erin yamabe
Posted by: erin | June 30, 2008 at 08:07 AM
KT.. I'm so very very sorry that you miss your father do deeply. There is not a word in the universe that will make you feel any better.. My only hope is that if you know you have friends out here who are 1 million percent there to support you each day my grow just a little easier. My only word of advise would be... Let yourself feel the good and the bad. By allowing yourself to feel the good doesn't mean you miss your dad any less or love him any less. He would truly want you go on.. Please email me if you just want to vent or to cry.. Huge Hugs,
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa M | June 30, 2008 at 11:09 AM
katie
I am always here for you...please lmk what i can do to help. I have missed chatting with you very much.
hugs
xo
cheryl
Posted by: cheryl mezzetti | June 30, 2008 at 12:53 PM
Hi,
I came to your blog from a link at 2peas. I am just coming out of a period of depression and your words touched my heart. I know what you mean about not wanting to do anything. I hope things start to get better for you soon. Feel free to email me if you want to just have an outside friend to talk to. I am a teacher and home for the summer. I am finally starting on some of the work that needs doing, but slowly.
Teresa
Posted by: Tess | July 01, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Anger is normal. What you feel is normal. Nothing will ever be the same again... it can't be. It will get easier, well, easier may not be the right word. It is different and you begin to gradually live with different. After time, different becomes okay. Okay will turn into not so bad. But the pain of missing your dad never goes away... I am approaching year 4. He passed on my birthday unexpectedly.
Hang on to your friends and your family. Hugs to you.
Posted by: Nicole Q. | July 02, 2008 at 02:07 PM
i wish there was something i could say..some magic word to ease your pain & help you thru this. but it really doesnt exist...so all we can do is show we are here to support you. and be here if you ever need to chat...anytime, 24/7. again, i am ALWAYS available to talk if you need it...email, im or cell...i'm disabled so i always have time to talk & listen lol.
the anger you are feeling is totally normal of course. you are just going thru all the stages of grieving. i know i have been in a big angry stage...cause of my dad, my health & the fact that i am permanently & 100% disabled @ 35, etc etc. life has been incredibly hard for me for a long time now...so the last 4-5 yrs have been the worst. and i get angry & doubt there is a god...because life is never good or easy here. so you are not alone...losing someone you love that deeply is so very devastating. just take it 1 day @ a time & talk to family & friends when you can. and maybe consider going to a therapist or psychologist...so you can have someone outside your normal circle to help you understand & process & move on from the hurt & anger. and maybe you need some medication temporarily...if you are very depressed, or not sleeping, or anxious etc. sometimes it REALLY helps to go that route.
and dont worry about your store...give yourself some time to grieve & adapt to the changes in your life. you need that more than anything...the business part can still wait. or maybe a friend/family member could help you out there too. if i lived nearby i would for sure!
xoxo bless you!
Posted by: {{ the divine miss jEn }} | July 08, 2008 at 03:31 AM