One month and thirteen days ... that's how long it's been. I can honestly say that everyday since my Dad's initial accident, has been in some way or another a struggle for me. The days after his passing though feel like such a blur. I just feel like I'm living this nightmare and just keep waiting to wake up. I have been doing pretty good with staying busy to keep my mind off things. Even though most of the time I find myself just wondering around, not knowing what I'm doing. I've been working on fixing the missing images in the store and tax stuff. Tomorrow I meet with my accountant. A little over a week ago I started feeling sick to my stomach, nauseas, weak and very tired. (Before you ask.. I'm not pregnant!) I guess things are finally starting to take a toll on me. I haven't been sleeping. I wake up constantly throughout the night and usually end up crying myself back to sleep. Today, I woke up coughing pretty bad. I've had somewhat of a cough the past couple days but today it was much worse. I feel horrible. I don't know what's going on, maybe it's stress, who knows. I have been pretty down, but still don't think everything has really hit me yet.
I spent hours yesterday listing stuff on ebay, so if your interested in some good deals be sure to check out my ebay auctions >>>>HERE<<<<
That's all I'm up for writing tonight. I will draw a name for the winner for the RAK tomorrow. I'll leave you with a picture of my Dad on one of his ride's with his best friend Nick. Nick came over a couple Sunday's ago to talk and shared a couple pictures of my Dad with me he had on his digital camera. I am so glad because I really love the pictures. I think this one really shows my Dad they way he is. He's always so goofy and just having a good time enjoying life.
Man, Katie, I wish there was some way to help you get past the pain, but it's just something that has to become a part of your life. There will come a day where it won't be so hard, trust me. Try and do something everyday that would make your dad proud of you. He is still with you and guiding you in spirit. Love truly never dies, hold it with you and learn to live the life your dad wanted for you.
Posted by: Meg Feroli | April 24, 2008 at 07:53 AM
Hang on to your memories! That is how you will keep his spirit alive! It will get easier I promise! Just keep telling yourself that!
Posted by: Alicia Sharp | April 24, 2008 at 12:06 PM
It is so difficult to deal with an unexpected death but know that your daddy is watching you and loves you! I love your blog! Keep your head up and take care!!!!!
Posted by: Sandra | April 24, 2008 at 08:02 PM
So sorry to hear about your dad - that is such a great picture and seems to really catch his personality.
Posted by: Kelly Todd | April 26, 2008 at 04:15 AM
Katie, hang in there, this is all part of the grieving process and you take your time! Stress will make you sick, so try to keep up a healthy diet and keeping busy will help! I love the pic!
Posted by: Jocelyn | April 26, 2008 at 04:25 AM
I'm so sorry Katie, I can't even imagine the pain your going through! Hang in there and BTW that is a great picture!
Carla
Posted by: Carla | April 26, 2008 at 01:13 PM
Hang in there Katie. It will get easier. I've been there..twice..I lost my mom when I was 28 and just lost my dad 5 years ago. Love that pic of your dad. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Deb Wisker | April 27, 2008 at 05:18 PM
I think the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself. Your dad would have wanted that I'm sure. Please Katie...as a dear internet friend and someone who is steps away from becoming a therapist...seek psychological help.
Girl, you need to let these thoughts out with a pro.
hugs & take care. :)
Posted by: veronica | April 29, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Here for the first time and have been reading back about what has happened to you these past weeks. You are a very strong lady for being to able to catch all this in words. Looks like your father was a very warm, handsome and very cool guy and i cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like, him to be taken from your lives so suddenly. I wish you and your family lots of strenght to cope with this. BIG HUG, Mandy
Posted by: Mandy | April 29, 2008 at 01:11 PM
Katie, honey! I'm still so sad for you losing your special dad! And you know I feel your pain! I NEVER imagined I'd lose my dad right now either! I think about my dad constantly throughout the day and I too stare at pictures of him and cry at the drop of a dime! I hate feeling so incomplete. I guess all we can do is take every day minute by minute and hold tight to our memories of our daddies! ((Hugs)) again, and what a great photo of your dad! I can tell he loved life!
Posted by: Andrea Amu | April 29, 2008 at 07:50 PM
Oh girlie.. I just don't know what to say.. besides that I'm sending you biiiiig hugs.. This must be such a difficult time for you... Gorgeous picture of your dad! Hang in there sweetie! XOXOOX
Posted by: Nancy | May 04, 2008 at 02:53 AM